Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
