I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
