I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
