Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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