There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
