Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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