I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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