Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
