Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize