I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just found puke in my bra..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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