Sry I called you an 8
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
