also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sext me about skeletons
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
