Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
