She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize