Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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