We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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