PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
