I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
