An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
