We got so high we made milksteak
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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