What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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