you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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