Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Me too!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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