threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
