I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
