That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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