My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
