Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
