Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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