how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize