it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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