Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
