Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
