you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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