I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
