he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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