why didn't you poke me back
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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