Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
