We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
