Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
