Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
