who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
