Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i out mim tonsoeep
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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