She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
