Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
