you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
