we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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