considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
