I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
