Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
