Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My liver just broke up with me...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
