Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
