you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
