ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize