I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
