Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
