I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
