I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
