I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
