spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
