in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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