I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
